After two weeks of trash talking, the time had arrived for these two Xenos armies to go head to head.


Venue: Warhammer World HQ

Points: 1500

Game Length: 6 Turns

Mission: The Emperor’s Will (pg.130)

The Battlefield: Vanguard Strike (pg.119)


Dark Eldar – Jay

part1 part2-2

Orks – Jim


Pre Game

Jim: So with a last minute list change swapping out 10 lootas (that never arrived) for 10 boys and 3 kannonz. I was ready to go take on the feared Dark Eldar, all the omens said defeat was on the cards, but I was wearing shoes so I didn’t care.

Jay: My army was prepped and I was rearing to rip Jim a new one. With all the Disintegrator Cannons on my Ravagers and Splinter Cannons on my Venoms, the Orks were moments away from becoming mushy peas.


Jim: I hatched a crafty plan. I set my Grots up to hold the objective so that they could hide if needs be and still hold it then I placed a few tasty targets round it. I planned to move my 20 Boyz up in their Battle Wagon to act as a distraction, knowing Jay would try and stop it at all cost. Knowing it would take at least 4 turns to finish the job if I screened them correctly. I placed my Shootas and Deffkoptas on the narrow edge, to gun down and distract for a while. The final piece was 3 Mega Nobs, that counted as troop choices, to sneak round the left flank and butcher what ever Jay had on the objective.

Jay: Jim won the roll off and chose to deploy first. I would like to take this moment, to point out that I wasn’t aware, that sneaky little bastard had 20 Ork Boyz in the Battle Wagon. My main concern was getting into Close Combat with the Orks, so I deployed as far away as possible whilst still protecting the Primary Objective.


deployment 2

Turn 1

Jim: I pushed forward with Shootas, Kans, Deffkoptas, Mega Nobs Battlewagon and Kannons.
Shooting was crap, dirty filthy Dark Eldar didn’t have the guts to let me use full range on my weapons. Only 1 venom was in range, so it got a load of Rokkits to the face, stopping it moving and bringing there filthy kinky love to me. Big Shootas took out 2 jet bikes and nothing else felt like hitting anything. So I handed it back over to Jay, who was looking at me in a way that would make an inquisitor shudder.

Jay: It has been a while since my last game, I forgot how much that first blood cuts deep and boy did it cut deep. I had only one thing on my mind and that is pay back! I Moved my Ravagers up to the side of the Skysheild Landing Pad, so that they had a bit of cover, but with them being equipped with Night Shields and Flicker Fields, I’d like to see the chump try. My Reavers turbo boosted to the middle of the board to say hello to the Kill Kans. My Raider popped round the corner, to penetrate his Battle Wagon with its Dark Lance Eww-er ;P My Venoms moved up to show Jim’s Deffkoptas some Splinter Cannon love, which resulted in them being fucked bare back, with no cuddles afterwards. So with the Deffkoptas taken care of, I gave his Gretchins some much needed attention.

Jim: Well as far as first turns go Jay’s was terrifying. Cutting down all my Deffkopters and Shootas without breaking sweat, but she did manage to laugh a lot.

Jay: Hahahahaha.

 round 1

Turn 2

Jim: Suppressing the urge to run at her, I re-arranged myself then advanced my forces forward. I brought my Stormboyz down just behind the objective, with the plan of assaulting the Venoms on turn 3, getting 1 maybe 2 with my Nobs Big Choppa.

The Battle Wagon lurched forward and angled itself to just show front armor. Then I rolled a 6 to get the Mega Nobz moon walking forwards, through some abandoned ruins. They were on their way to win me the game! Shooting didn’t go well now that my best stuff was dead, thanks to the angel of kinky opposite. My Battle Wagon was out of Night Shield range on the good stuff, but managed to pop a few Incubi. My Nobs blew their load onto some unsuspecting Revears, causing a mighty 7 wounds, enough for a morale check. Well it would have been, but the Dark Eldar are obviously used to silver bullets, swatted them away rolling 4 6’s and a 5 on the jink save. After Jay brought me back with CPR, I continued to shoot, Frag Kannons, managed to kill another Incubi before the Stormboyz took them down to 2 models.

Jay: Big mistake putting 15 Stormboyz right in the line of fire! I felt that this was a blatant challenge, one that I was all to happy to accept. 15 murdered Stormboyz later…pause…evil laugh, I then decided to see if I could do some damage to Jim’s Battle Wagon. I felt the need to tell Jim my terrible track record with single shot weaponry. As he went from the shade of a Squig to the colour of an Ork, when he saw what I planned to do. In true me style I rolled a 1 for my ballistic skill.


Turn 3

Jim: Jay had brought her Raider, to threaten the flank of my lines and battle wagon. Knowing the Wyches the witch had filled it with might take out my Mega Nobs, it became a target. The Raider dutifully bent over and took a Rokkit to the ass, killing it and most of the troops inside, which were gunned down to 2 models. After the two remaining Wyches realised they had forgotten to powder their noses and buggered off back, to the board edge. The bulk of my shooting, now concentrated on the newly arrived Razorwing Jetfighter. Shooting went well, taking off a hull point and negating the splinter cannon of the Razorwing. Meanwhile on the other side, the Kill Kanz failed to charge the Ravager. I managed to hold the objective by quarter of an inch, length matters.

Jay: Taking my Raider out has fucked me over slightly, now I have no weapons strong enough to take out his Battle Wagon, BOLLOCKS!!! So avoiding the Ork Battle Wagon at all cost. I continued with taking out Jim’s Gretchins with my Ravages, so I could push forward to contest the objective. Again using my Razorwing’s Disintegrator Cannons I fire at his left flank to try and do as much damage, to his Big Gunz and Grot Crew.

Turn 3

turn 4

Turn 4

Jim: It was the start of the fight back. My Burna-Bomma arrived in a mighty flash of thunder and the Battle Wagon began the planned assault on the objective. Looking sideways to see the Meganobz moving up to be within hitting distance. Shooting killed off all, but 2 of the Venoms and little else. In the assault phase my Kill Kans charged the Ravager and ravaged it!

Jay: Jim was definitely bringing his A game and I could see why, because after the first couple of rounds, I had left him crying like a little bitch. With him taking out 2 of my Venoms, I quickly ran the Kabalite Warriors to hold my objective, along with the remaining Incubi and Archon. I was drastically running low on fire power as I was down to a single Ravager and 2 Venoms, that were immobilised, so in essence were sitting ducks.

turn 4


Turn 5

Jim: I began with a crafty rule abuse, as the Burna-Bommer flew over the enemy objective dropping his last bomb killing lots of Kabalite Warriors, as this is done in the movement phase, the look of horror on Jays face, as my Ork Boyz moved to within 3 inches of the objective was golden. Meanwhile my Grots shuffled to safety and my Kill Kanz shuffled round to face the last Ravager. Shooting saw then end of the nasty Jet Fighter, that took the effort of 2 Kannoz, Nobz, Warlord and some Grots. Throwing a kitchen sink at it before the Burner-Bommer finally nailed it from behind! The Battle Wagon now finished off the Wyches. In the assault phase my Kill Kanz spanked the last Ravager. My Ork Boyz piled into a mass orgy round the objective but amazingly got castrated and chased down. The Mega Nobz head butted the Venom and Nob slapped the Kabalite Warriors that crawled out.

Jay: Against all odds I managed to chase down 20 Ork Boyz with:

1 Archon

1 Klaivex with DemiKlaives

1 Kabalite Warrior

1 Empty Fairy liquid bottle

All held together with sticky back plastic.

Whilst Jim was composing himself and once I had stopped doing my happy dance, I rolled to see if the onslaught continued………………..It Did!

turn 5_2


Turn 6

Jim: After Jays turn 5, in which my Mega Nobz finished off the warriors then killed them we rolled off to see if the game ended or if i got to murder the last 3 Dark Eldar on the board with my Battle Wagon and mega nobs but the game ended there working out as a draw and justly so with massive losses on both sides.

Jay: Indeed, after more losses than Wesley Snipes tax returns, we agreed that with me contesting Jim’s objective and him just being out of capture range, the battle was a draw.

Result: Draw

After Math

Jim: Considering it was about our first game of 6th Edition and my second game of 40K since 3rd Edition I think it went well, we made a few mistakes, but Jays fast fingers came to the rescue swiftly finding rules.

I think my plan went well, Jay was a hard opponent to beat. A last minute bid to kill my Warlord cost the game I think, but had it played off it would have gave her a massive victory. Given that she missed a few of my sneaky tricks I felt she adapted well, giving me a headache to re adjust constantly. This ended up making the game one of my best ever, much enjoyed with action every second of it and balls out 40k both sides.

Model of the match for me, goes to the Burna-Bommer turning out a massive kill count in a short space of time.

On Jays side it has to go to the humble group of her Archon, Klaivex and a Kabalite Warrior who kicked the shit out of 20 Ork Boyz and a Nob.

Can’t wait for my Dark Angels to be ready, to humble her next round!

Jay: For me I really enjoyed the game, I think some of the 6th Edition rules are going to take me a while to like and get used to. I’m not going to lie I loved killing Jim’s Orks, but having said that I enjoyed his fighting spirit and the fact he didn’t go easy on me. To face great losses like he did in the first couple of rounds and come back the way he did was short of amazing. Without feeding his ego too much, he is easily one of the best strategic players I have ever come up against. This made the whole game exciting and volatile, with me constantly having to rethink my strategy.

Model of the match for me would be my Venoms. They just do so much damage for what little they cost.

On Jim’s side his Burna-Bommer really was some piece of work and caused me no end of pain.

Dark Angels, PHUH! Bring It!