I love to write, but I Love to talk more, so I do videos for the Breacher18 YouTube channel. Whether its un-boxing videos or game reviews, if it keeps me busy and my head out of the clouds, I do it. When I get excited by something so much, my mouth moves quicker than my brain can output to it, which can be highly entertaining and confusing at times. I think if this happens in future I’m just going to make loud noises. I love gaming so much, and talking about games, and looking at the boxes and components and ok even smelling board games! Don’t judge, the game sniffers are out there.
Full disclosure I have MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) have done since the age of 15. In fact this blog originally started as a tool recommended by my, at the time therapist, as a way to vocalise my thoughts and feelings about particularly distressing things at the time, instead of methods of coping that I had adopted, that weren’t healthy.
Then I found war gaming and board gaming. This is where things really changed for me, in a very positive way. I became fascinated with games. I always liked computer games, but they still left me isolated, I’d say they gave me a quick escape. War gaming and board gaming got me up, out of my living room to a change of scenery.
There are a few people who may know me through social media and may have made some assumptions about me and that’s fine, it’s something everyone does even if we don’t like to think we do.
Here are two assumptions that I have been made aware of.
• I’m popular
• I’m confident
I am neither of these things, but since falling in love with gaming. My confidence is slowly on the rise, which has allowed me to take part in more social activities without me having panic attacks. This in turn has led me to meet some truly amazing people. Just to hear the word Chimera makes me happy. Not to mention all my gaming buddies on twitter, all who help, whether it’s “Is this game any good?”, “What’s your best technique for skin tones?” To “I’m feeling like giving up on life.” You are always there for me.
So not only did I get a great new hobby and interest, I got a bunch of awesome people too. I love gaming though, even when I lose which is 90% of the time, I’m just happy. I’ve played some crap games, some really carp games and you know what I’m still happy. Even when people moan and groan, that things are wrong in the hobby or the gaming industry e.g GamerGate. I just feel so spoilt, because when I game I’m truly free from all the pain that depression brings and for those moments I’m happy. How many people, get to say the same thing?
So if you know someone who suffers from depression or is going through a bad time, get a game out. You may just bring happiness to someone in need.